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Kella's FIFA Online Seasons: f*** Everybody

kella

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Since PS4 kindly saves about 15 minutes of footage automatically, which is give or take a few pauses and watching copious replays, about the length of an average Seasons game, I thought I'd start documenting some of my games as I (hopefully) rise through the ranks of trogs, Mexicans, dew chuggers, and dew chugging Mexitrogs.

Here are my basic rules for how I approach Seasons.

1) No teams better than 4*. I like to find a team I work well with and stick with them until it stops working well, but I do not capitulate and go pick Real Madrid just to run around like an asshole with Bale.

2) "Restrictive" team matching. I want every game to be as close as mathematically possible to even.

3) No mercy. Even if I score a penalty on a red carded foul in the box in the 2nd minute (happened tonight) I don't let off. I realize this isn't remotely realistic compared to real soccer, but fuck these pubers.

4) No quitting. Outside of something abominable happening (e.g., the reverse of the above situation, I give up a penalty and lose a guy in the 2nd minute), there's really no reason to quit outside of things happening in real life like an emergency that force me out. If I'm down 3-0 in the 75th, I'll change formations and maybe make a few subs and experiment with a different style.

Right now, until the opponents adjust, I'm playing a slightly defensive counter-attacking style 4-4-2 with West Ham. Song is my lone CM/DM but since he's an 80 and quite tall, it works pretty well. He makes up for a lot of what Jarvis, Downing, and Amalfitano lack in defensive qualities (which is everything, other than Jarvis, who is at least quick).

The bench/reserve bug means I literally can't bring in the heavyweights like Nolan and Carroll unless I start the game with them in the lineup, and since we're doing quick hitting counters, Valencia and Zarate are actually preferred even though they are small and twinkish. My bench quality is limited to Sakho and Noble, the rest of the subs blow.

As a bonus, Downing and Zarate are both pretty capable free kick takers, which is pretty beneficial at the 4* level, a good amount of those teams have nobody who is any good at direct free kicks.

Right now, there is a massive logjam with everyone having just started playing 5 days ago. I am in Division 6 but the quality in opponents vary from game to game. The guy who used Everton in this game where I committed the softest penalty ever (vid below) was really good.



I was unlucky to give up that penalty but probably lucky something else didn't go in, so 1-1 was pretty fair.

On the other hand, there are a lot of guys who are experimenting with teams but play the exact same way they do with Mexico or whatever. The last guy I played tonight kept trying to run me with Pelle, who was probably the slowest player on the field outside of the keepers. Note that James Tomkins (!!!) runs him down with absolute ease. To boot he rarely got the ball to his actual fast player (Shane Long) or his best player (Schneiderlin). So this is a good example of a not all that shitty player who just has no idea how to use S'oton. There's a lot of these types milling about right now.

I expect things will shake loose in the next few weeks and the crap players will drop down and wallow between divisions 7-10.

With that said, here's almost full video of my most recent game, a 5-2 win against Southampton. I was pissed to even give up the 2 goals, one of which was an auto switch nightmare. I scored 2 free kick goals and the first goal which isn't shown was slick as hell. Valencia got it after a quick 1-2 and was in on goal and I slowed up at the top of the box and waited for the keeper to come out a bit, then rolled it around him on the left.



The Zarate free kick looks like Kyle Walker's against Blackburn from a few years back.

Here's a highlight from an earlier game where I also pinged one in with Downing:



I'm getting the hang of free kicks now. What still kills me is that your players won't advance on goal when you try to swing a ball in if you're too far from goal for a shot, but still in the center of the field. If you're way out on a wing, you can swing it in dangerously, just not in the middle. It's annoying.

This was the half time situation in another game tonight, this was the guy who got the 3rd minute red card and penalty.



10469273_1529909977223503_2382797314549448790_o.jpg


I was pretty much "on" this evening. 3 wins and all pretty comfortable.
 
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sayo

YEET
Good stuff. Watched most of the match you posted. I loved Seasons last year peaking at division 4 sticking with teams that were 3 1/2 - 4 stars. I just don't have the stick skills in this game to hang beyond that level. Right now, I'm trogging out on FUT, but I can see myself going back to Seasons once I get sick of it. You are very good at free kicks. I need to get on that level. I don't think I've ever scored on a free kick online or offline in FIFA.

I also like how the player that got the red card suddenly vanishes in the game's cutscene lol.
 

kella

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With free kicks, I'm no maestro. I think even @DanishDonut0 would tell you there's always some amount of luck involved (although the luck required seems to be reduced when the other player fucks around with his wall). One thing I can tell you is always go big. There's no point in hitting the wall - it might as well result in a goal kick, so always make sure you have enough power to at least clear the wall. The most makeable free kicks are going to be 25 yards and in and those require somewhere between a quarter and half power, though depending on your kick taker's curve and power, you might need to adjust.
 

Travis7401

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One thing I'd really suggest for guys who struggle with free kicks... when you pick a team out to roll with for a little while is to take their best FK taker and practice with him for a few minutes in the arena until you can hit them regularly. Every player has a sweet spot depending on their power/curve ratings like Kella said and it is easy to get pretty repeatable results from different ranges/angles as long as they have decent Accuracy stats. There are enough fouls this year and the goalkeepers don't move as much on free kicks, so it is definitely worth practicing. I practiced for a few minutes with Toivonen and I went 4/4 on free kicks from 22-29 yards this weekend. That turned defeat into draw and draw into victory a couple times.

Also, it seems like most people jump their walls, so if you have a really close free kick (around 20 yards) or don't have a player with enough curve to get the ball over and back down, then don't be afraid to try shooting under the wall.
 

kella

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Oh yeah. If you are playing a guy who isn't a total idiot, he's probably jumping. Take your big mong striker with 89 shot power and just hammer one on the ground.
 

kella

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Played a few more games yesterday, and won all 3. I actually "played" 4, and got a loss in one, because you apparently can't even quit 90 seconds into the match and get out of it without a loss now, which is mind bottling but whatever. I'm not in it for the wins and losses, I am in it to ruin peoples' days and crush puber dreams. I bet that guy was really annoyed that I immediately quit and he had to go and find another matchup, so hah! Enjoy your tainted victory.

I am noticing at times a bit of a rubber band effect that seems built into this year's online play. I don't know if it's real or just my imagination but there are a few guys who I should have stomped 4, 5-nil and they always manage to score a few fairly inconsequential goals, mostly when my CBs just for some reason are nowhere to be seen and give up a break later in the game, which is extra weird because I'm usually in a defensive mode and will frequently switch to a 2 CDM system at that point, so it's odd that I seem more likely to give up breaks to just a single striker. If the guy was on all-out attack, ok, because it's usually 5 or 6 attackers on 2 or 3 defenders, but they don't.

You'll see this in the 2nd video in the Besiktas game.

The first game was against Monaco. Why anyone would take Monaco without Hammis and Falcao, I have no idea. This guy wasn't very good and I should have buried 2-3 early chances that I flubbed, so the final score was only 2-0.



Carroll nicely holds his run for the first goal for not one, but two players before the 3rd hits him. 87th minute I'm trying to troll him and it almost goes terribly wrong, lol.

For this game I face puber favorite Besiktas yet again, this kid thought he was something special but nah b.



The goal at 2:00 in the video is pretty awesome, worked the ball the whole way down the field in tight spaces. @Turkeys this is what happen when you don't dwell on the ball forever.

@2:40, I don't understand the meaning of the keeping. What is he thinking? :laughing:

Missed a header @5:00 that should have been an easy goal. Probably should have scored again @7:00. Actually probably should have scored 5 or 6 on this guy.
 

Travis7401

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I feel like it is definitely a bad idea to rush keepers on breaks this year. Everyone just taps the ball under my keeper and he theatrically jumps over it. HMMM. If you leave them on their line, however, they save stuff they should have no business saving.
 

kella

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Yeah, I am going to have to start pump faking the keeper rush and hope that they dick the dog.
 

kella

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STOKE

yall need to be on this mame yo diouf train
 

kella

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Chibob upload them to fb and download them from there
 

WingedHelmet

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If you livestream from twitch there's a setting to automatically record from the twitch.tv website. THEN you have to "save as a highlight," but it's easier than the Facebook way. You can export to Facebook from twitch.

Will be obsolete as soon as true youtube integration comes, but knowing Sony that will be years.
 

kella

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Yeah the twitch thing is a little better I suppose. And you can record a few hours then cut it up as you please.
 

kella

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After going 0-4-4 last night with some abysmal luck, I finally had some success again today and didn't lose a game outside of the first one where I had the misfortune of picking Leicester whose center backs are the slowest in the entire game, I'm sure. I then got some Stoke in that bitch and Mame Yo Diouf went OFF with a first half hat trick and an assist. Crouch added a beautiful fade-away header.



Best goal is at the 3:45 mark
 

kella

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Trying my hand at some editing. This game is kinda dull, but the video is less than 4 minutes and you can skip some shit in the middle.

 

chibob

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Kella hope you dont mind me putting some of my stuff in here too:



FUT Trog Team

The guy DNFs after about 7 minutes, but there is a lovely goal by Gibbs to keep your eye out for and also iv figured out how to be pretty dominant on corners.

Iv got enough targets with Mangala, Emenike, Ibara, Song to name a few.
 

kella

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Start your own thread limey, the title says Kella's FIFA 15 Online Seasons :laughing:
 

kella

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The return of victories. I had a horrible streak and I really doubt anyone wants to see me losing 1-0 snoozers, so I've skipped over those. Last night I moved over to Besiktas who despite being a bunch of twinks other than Demba Ba are actually pretty good. Lots of good technicians which helps to keep high tempo passing under control and makes it easy to move around the super high pressure all the rubes play with online (something Stoke obviously really struggles with). They also have a super fast fullback (Motta?) who helps keep the pubers who sprint all day in line. They have another back who is at least quick enough to keep up with Galatasaray's Burma, who is one of the fastest players among 4* teams so that's good too.

Their downside is that they have nobody (at least that I start) to take free kicks, so I usually just pass in the box to Ba for an attempt at a troll goal. It works way too well :laughing:

I had 2 wins and a loss. Got video from the wins, again the loss was 1-0 on some stupid nonsense vs Napoli (something I'll highlight below which is a pretty obnoxious problem with the AI defending) so I didn't upload the video for that. Although I did hit the post 3 times and probably should have won as well.

Besiktas 4 - 2 Fenerbahce



Goals at 2:34, 3:55, 8:05, 9:00, 11:00 ( :trollface:) and the best of the bunch is the last at 12:15. I also missed a penalty. Was practicing to go low bottom corner, but it's seemingly impossible.

The one at 9:00 that I gave up is really aggravating. I find this happens a little too often (it happened against Napoli as well, 1 CB needlessly staying with a striker who should be a good ways offside). If you're not playing a high pressure defense, or maybe even if you are, the CBs will frequently follow opposing forwards way behind where the defensive line should be set. Note that on the throwin, my CBs are allowing Emenikie and Webo to sit 5 yards behind the rest of my players, which creates enormous gaps to exploit in front of my keeper. Then, they don't bother stepping up to take away that pass before the goal. I'm not sure how to make them do it other than switching quickly to the offside trap shout, which I might have to practice.
 

chibob

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Kella you ever have issues uploading to facebook? Mine only seem to upload every one in five.
 

kella

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Uploading large videos to Facebook is a total crapshoot. There's a lot of literature on it if you google about the problem. FB just hates large files. Try repeatedly and try doing it overnight. I find that works best. Also clear your PS4 notifications of failed uploads seems to help.

Sometimes even if it says they fail, they actually do upload.
 

kella

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Here's the 8-1 game.



I give credit to this dude. He went down by 3-0 pretty early, but instead of quitting he just threw all his guys into attack and tried to get back in it, then went all out when it was well out of reach.
 

kella

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Got a lot more action coming up.

Great goal from Motta. HIT AND HOPE



Here's a full game. It was 6-4. He scored a really nice FK and then a bunch of complete trash. Have played this Mr Ruggiero guy a few times and he's a total dickhead, so I make him watch even the worst replays the full length while blasting the price is right losing horn from my ipad into the mic. I am basically a fully grown, bearded puber.

 
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kella

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This one was against Porto. Note their 1st goal, this is what @Travis7401 is talking about when right after the kickoff nobody fucking moves, so Brahimi can just fire it in easily over my keeper's head from 30 yards. It's a great shot, for sure, but I kind of wish I could get someone up to at least contest it, lol. 4th goal is a dagger. Standard grounded pass with enough power to skip over Ba for Pekmetektkememeket who turns it in. A thing of beauty compared to my normal HIT AND HOPE



I was running out of luck with Besiktas (had like 3 draws in a row) so I decided to try and puber it up with CSKA. I am not very good at the pubering. I went up 2-0 way early on this guy and let him back in thanks to some really dumb goals by him, but whatever. I came back to score 2 goals after the 82nd including an ultimate troll goal off of a short corner. This guy was also kind of a fgt so I didn't feel bad doing this to him, lol. More price is right losing horn for him.

 

kella

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BTW these are all edited so they should be a lot, lot shorter than 15 minutes.
 

Travis7401

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Ur 4th goal in that first game is what I think pavel was Tombout. Your offensive players make such better runs this year to facilitate cutting back and passing in like that. I score a lot of goals either dumping it to the striker waiting on the spot or by passing a little harder to that trailing player like you did there. Most of my goals this year seem to come from an extra pass in the box.

Man I also love it when people foul me just outside the box this year. I have made like the last 10 free kicks from 20-30 yards and it is nice to punish them for being such trogs. Obviously it is overpowered that it is that consistent, but I don't give a fuck. I manage to not mug the hell out of people enough to get called on stuff, so if they rape me that hard they deserve a goal in the eye.
 

kella

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I made one from I think 37 (!) with Elm today. I like CSKA a little more than Besiktas because Besiktas has NOBODY to punish the constantly fouling pubers near the box.

I'll have to check the highlight for that if it's there, because 37 seems absurd. It was far out doe. Probably didn't record as a couple of those games were like 5 goal affairs and it was the first one.
 

kella

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Argh, yeah, it didn't record. Was the first goal in a game against Greece. This kid was a complete joke.
 

WingedHelmet

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Y'all realize that long shots are basically a joke this year, right? YouTube videos out there showing how/where to hit them to score every time. Kind of like FIFA '04 (or one of those old ones) where if you shot off the kickoff it always went in...
 

kella

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KMEnjVy.gif


have played about 50 seasons games, have yet to see anyone exploiting any sort of glitch. Not saying it's not out there, but checked out a few youtube videos and half of them are from the demo (lol) and the others are like "pick a guy with 90 shot power and 90 long shot rating!"

haha, well ok then. I don't run into too many of those guys in my 3.5 and 4* seasons games.
 
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Travis7401

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Y'all realize that long shots are basically a joke this year, right? YouTube videos out there showing how/where to hit them to score every time. Kind of like FIFA '04 (or one of those old ones) where if you shot off the kickoff it always went in...

I do think that long shots are probably a little too accurate when you have the time to hit them, but in order to hit them "every time" you still need several steps to get the right balance and ball position. That much open space honestly doesn't happen all that often unless you try it by pulling off a short corner or dumping back to a fullback who probably won't have the shooting stats to pull it off (though there are certainly some that do). At the end of the day, if you let someone have a full unobstructed run up of 3 steps in the same direction and you don't get anyone over there to even get in the way of the shot, then you probably deserve to get scored on.

In all the games I've played so far, granted not against the top competition other than FUT tourneys, I've had one person hit a shot over 30 yards on me. I've had a lot of people try the "every time" long shots and not come anywhere near the goal.

So it works every time... as long as you do it perfectly and the other guy gives you the opening :thumbsup: Well that's how it is fucking supposed to work.
 

kella

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I got my ass handed to me by Southampton, good god.
 

kella

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Beating some retard with a 420 name almost gives me an erection. This guy's trash talking game is worse than his FIFA game.

11022624_1610501849164315_8858137839898200420_o.jpg
 

kella

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Demba Bahahahahahahaha SUCK IT MEXICO

 

kella

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Hutchinson do them dirty tho

 

kella

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40 yards out. BA



post-23470-Jeremiah-Johnson-HD-gif-Imgur-2LEp.gif



It's too bad this Mexican pinche joto quit before I could get a decent replay of this. Weirdly there are a bunch of puta maricones online who won't challenge you at all until you get near the box. It's the complete opposite of the high pressure bum rush, and I just like to let it rip against these mongoloids
 

DanishDonut0

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Is that 40 yards out? I always have trouble estimating. I drilled one from right outside the midfield circle, kind of where the grass changes color as seen on the end of the Ba video, with Salihovic against my roommate. Don't have xbox live anymore (360 lolpoor/moving to europe in the fall anyway) or else would have uploaded it. Of course I won 1-0 and my roommate will never play me again.

edit: I do miss playing online but it is kind of pointless in the old gen
 

kella

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3tr8zq.jpg


(I lost 4-2, hah)

This dude that played as Arsenal was amazing. Probably should have been 4-4, I reel e fucked up subsequent chances.
 

kella

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dnhxpry.jpeg



anigif_enhanced-buzz-8733-1360605648-3.gif



Down 2-0 to Tigres via some puta shit, put in Frei after scoring my first goal and proceed to run by his entire team for 2 more assists. All this guy did was hoof balls to Guerron the whole game. What a joto
 

Travis7401

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I beat some poor dudes 8-0
And 7-0 tonight. Each game BA had me up a legit 5 goals before petulitis allowed for the rest. Scored my first beyond midfield goal this year due to keeper shenanigans.
 

Travis7401

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Surprised that he didn't quit on you.

The other night I got up on someone about 5-0 in the 75th minute and he decided to do the petulant time wasting trick of hoofing the ball back to his goalie, scoring on hisself, and then watching all 3 replays. This might annoy a normal player, but Whiskey_travis just set the controller down and poured another drink and lol'd as the score ran up to like 15-1 (he pulled a fast one on me and ran down and scored on me while I had the controller on the table).
 

kella

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Some of those guys you can score 8 goals on are totally down for a drubbing
 

kella

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In the most fifa thing ever I lost 3-1 to some lob ball chucker using Inter, and then beat this guy who was way better on the ball and holding possession than I was. Pretty good record too, surprised he's lost that many games but his play style isn't favored by EA programmersuploadfromtaptalk1431792251025.jpg

Also that username lol
 
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