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Winning without talent: the Miracle Miami Manatees™

TonyGin&Juice

Come into my healing basement.
2063 Review: Back on top of Mount 500 (just barely).

After trading off multiple future middle relievers and 5th outfielders via five 1st Round draft picks and multiple 2nd and 3rd Rounders we got ourselves an ace - the magnificent Darryl Nelson who posted this outstanding stat line in the newly reconfigured wannabe South Beach Dyson Sphere:

disappointingNelson.png

On the plus side he did post a positive 1.3 WAR, his FIP was below his ERA, and he did notch 125 strikeouts which was best for second on the team behind Joe "AssMode" Dunn. However, he was pretty bad this season - 9-15 record, almost 100 Runs with 91 earned, 48 walks, and only a 41.9% Quality Start percentage - and we gave up a shit ton to get him that's going to handcuff us on the farm for a few years. We should have known this wasn't going to work out in our favor when this was our first conversation after the trade:



Even with Nelson being terribad we did have two of the top five contact guys in JV. Andres 'Golf Mind' Andrade even managed to look like the potential MVP candidate many thought he could be back when he went 1-1 and didn't break his back banging some Tinder hookup in a Cheesecake Factor bathroom. Unfortunately everyone else took a step back. Ploeg was injured and bad. Back-to-back JV batting champ Randy "Color Me" Gadd suddenly couldn't hit worth a shit. Sal "Slapnuts" Garcia suddenly forgot how to field. The rotation was ok after putting Nelson in the 4 and 5 spot and the BP was still pretty good, though some of these guys are perennial underachievers.

At one point we considered just throwing in the towel and having a fire sale before a decade of depression since we're out of draft picks. We even got so desperate we asked BFF @jdlikewhoa, hisself in tank mode, for help only to be reminded he was in even worse shape. Desperate for a spark we started playing the kids and crying ourselves to sleep sim-after-sim.



But you know what? Who gives a fuck. Somehow we started hitting and found our mojo again. To end the season we swept those Spreadsheet Warriors from North Dakota ending both their Playoff and Mount 500 summit streak and made the playoffs again. We lost to the Fax Machines but what more could you want babby than a Mount 500 Summit and a playoff appearance with these BUMS?



So to all of you that doubted my moves:

 

TonyGin&Juice

Come into my healing basement.
Au revoir Golf Mind my dreams of being a true Miami HOFer have been dashed by bad contracts and injuries. Take Buenos Aires to the promise land babby!
 

TonyGin&Juice

Come into my healing basement.


BREAKING NEWS



After much consideration (and major recent failures on the financial, trade, and development front) the Miami Manatees have decided to bring on a Co-GM to help with the day-to-day operations of the franchise. After considering a number of candidates Marcus Never Nude and the search committee have decided that former Berlin Bomber Bears GM
@Rutgers Mike will now be assisting Mayor McCheese on the day-to-day operations, drafting, and trades. Given our current financial shape and how barren the farm system is we are looking forward to Mr. Sad helping us identify our future Funks.

At this point we are going to begin a thorough analysis of our minor league system and see where, outside of the obvious of pitching, we need to focus our drafting and development. While we've graduated a number of our top prospects from our farm system to replace departing veterans like Neil Joosteen we do have a number of position players that we hope to see this season in the Show. Below are the players we plan to invite to Spring Training with hopes of graduating to South Beach this spring:

Position Players
Vicente Sosa - SS/CF (No bat to speak of but plays enough positions well enough not to be a liability)
Ernest Larkin -CF/3B (Did fair in A last season but still does not have a position, has a great arm so may end up at 3B)
Edgar Otero - 1B/DH (Got playing time in September but did not make the most of his opportunity)
Milion Taher - "1B"/DH (Came over in the Ross Cooke/Cesar Hernandez trade, no position but a legit threat at the plate)
Edik Zilbershtein - "3B" (Could be a solid hitter like Charles 'Last Resort' Bjørnø but has no speed and much worse range)
Brian "No" Fear - "CF" (Another of the many "no bat" and "no arm" outfielders my scouts have found over the years)
Gerardo Guerra - RF (Has hit really well at all levels but has never developed a position due to range, great arm)
Reynante Ifurung - C (Cheap IFA "catcher" signing, still has not developed as a C as much as we would like but will be back up)

Guys That Throw The Ball
Pat Maxwell - RHP (Starter) (An idiot but did very well for us last year, first drafted pitching prospect that made it to the show in years)
Geoffrey Heuser - LHP (Stopper/Closer) (Major gamble when drafted and had some injury issues early on but two seasons and two All-Star appearances and 50+ saves later looks to have been a gamble that worked)
Robert "Rawdoge" Rosado - RHP (Starter) (Has bounced between AAA and WBL the past two seasons but finally looks to have enough "stuff" to stay in the Show)
Richie "Outta Control" Woestenberg - RHP (Starter)
(Minor league signee that may end up being good in the right development system. Has the pitches and stuff just no control, not even H-Rod bad control)
Bruno "The Dream" Richard - RHP (Starter) (The last big IFA signee, despite major control issues put up 8.9 Ks/9, 4.31 BBs/9, and 2.07 Ks/BB in A at 19. Not great but promising given his potential)
Marcos Trujillo - LHP (Starter) (Part of the trade package that sent Brent "Blinky" Lane and stud 3B Julián Pérez to Kabul. Not great control and only one elite pitch but could be a solid #4/#5 if he doesn't get injured further. At 6'7" there are lots of doubts he'll make it as a starter if the injuries continue but he could turn out to be an elite reliever).

On the development front our former scouting director (Some Bum) retired after the 2071 season leaving us in need of a new scout. While there's a lot you can say about this guy that's not good (greedy, shithead, pouty) we've decided to hire former five time All-Star, multiple Platinum Stick winner, and 2059 WBL SL Sacrificial Lambship MVP Award winner Niek "Babby" Ploeg as our newest scouting director. While we are all cautious with how Mr. Ploeg will do at identifying future WBL talent his ability as a hitter was second to none during the best years of his career.
 

TonyGin&Juice

Come into my healing basement.


BREAKING NEWS.

After almost 40 years in Miami playing in dilapidated and decaying (and sinking) Sister Havana Stadium we are EXCITED to announce we are moving our WBL squad and all minor league teams to new cities and stadiums for the 2090 season!!!!! Please allow me to introduce you to our new home cities and stadiums for the next 30 seasons!!!!

WBL: Kansas City Katz - Ban Johnson Park (Outdoor, Kentucky Bluegrass, Optimized for pitching ala Petco Park pre-fence moves)
AAA: Hampton Hobbes
AA: New Hampshire Fisher Cats
A: Lynchburg Hellcats


Niek Ploeg will continue as our primary scout and Mayor McCheese will continue as General Manager for at least the next three seasons. With the talent we have in the pipeline at key positions we haven't been deep at historically (specifically Center Field and Starting Pitching), our continued investments in prospect development, and our financial flexibility we hope to make a return to the post-season next season for a deep run into October. While we've made it to the World Series recently it's been over 30 seasons since we've added to the flags that fly forever and that is just flat out unacceptable for an organization that has produced as much world class talent as we have over the past three decades.

 

Karl Hungus

Here to fix the cable


BREAKING NEWS.

After almost 40 years in Miami playing in dilapidated and decaying (and sinking) Sister Havana Stadium we are EXCITED to announce we are moving our WBL squad and all minor league teams to new cities and stadiums for the 2090 season!!!!! Please allow me to introduce you to our new home cities and stadiums for the next 30 seasons!!!!

WBL: Kansas City Katz - Ban Johnson Park (Outdoor, Kentucky Bluegrass, Optimized for pitching ala Petco Park pre-fence moves)
AAA: Hampton Hobbes
AA: New Hampshire Fisher Cats
A: Lynchburg Hellcats


Niek Ploeg will continue as our primary scout and Mayor McCheese will continue as General Manager for at least the next three seasons. With the talent we have in the pipeline at key positions we haven't been deep at historically (specifically Center Field and Starting Pitching), our continued investments in prospect development, and our financial flexibility we hope to make a return to the post-season next season for a deep run into October. While we've made it to the World Series recently it's been over 30 seasons since we've added to the flags that fly forever and that is just flat out unacceptable for an organization that has produced as much world class talent as we have over the past three decades.


Send me park factors or whatever & I'll get yours & hayvis' stuff done before the season starts. I'm busy AF right now for work so I will need to find the time to sit down & make the changes.
 

TonyGin&Juice

Come into my healing basement.
Send me park factors or whatever & I'll get yours & hayvis' stuff done before the season starts. I'm busy AF right now for work so I will need to find the time to sit down & make the changes.
I would have texted you and @Yankee151 about this earlier to make sure it was ok but hitting the Thunderchicken at 0900 today in this Kroger’s parking lot totally wrecked this day.
 
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