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2015 NFL Offseason/Draft Thread

silverwheels

silverwheels

PLAY LA BAMBA BABY
"Throatzilla" is an escort who is not too pleased with La'el Collins because he won't pay her after she ate his ass


I’m an escort & lael Collins hired me to eat his a** & give him head last Sunday but when it came time to pay, he said he meant he would take me out to eat. After us arguing for 20 minutes he agreed to pay me Thursday. So when Thursday came, he made me delete his number & all of our text messages, but I requested them from Sprint he has now changed his number but I blasted him on Twitter & him & his agent got my Twitter deleted.

Tough stretch for La’El Collins recently. Ex-girlfriend murdered, dropped out of the Draft, sign as a free agent for pennies compared to what you’re actually worth, have Throatzilla go off on you and tell the world that you refused to pay her after she ate your ass out. Real bad luck there. That’s what happens when you try and fuck over Throatzilla though. But the craziest part of all this? La’el Collins wanted to pay a hooker bill by taking the chick out to eat. Like the dude wanted to try and go on a date with a whore. That’s fucking insane. Some chick agrees to suck your dick and lick your butthole for money and your next thought was “I’d like to sit down for a meal with this lovely gal.” Outrageous. Just pay the girl her money and get her the fuck out of your life forever. This isn’t Pretty Woman, La’el. Start trying to wife up a prostitute and that’s how you end up getting roasted on social media and she starts calling for you to get drug tested.

PS – I feel like black people often have that weird font for phones. Is that an Android thing or do you have to manually go in there and change the font? Such a strange look. It looks like your texts are written in crayon.
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eat the booty like groceries
 
NavyHog

NavyHog

Well-Known Member
Utopia Moderator
NCAA Moderator
Maybe this falls under "don't knock it til you try it", but I find nothing exciting about the thought of someone licking my asshole.

Yuck!
 
Packfan

Packfan

Administrator
Administrator
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Packfan

Packfan

Administrator
Administrator
The NFL off-season. I don't think JPP has signed his franchise stage tender yet, last night havecost him a fortune.

My favorite story from this weekend is Packers TE firing two shots into the ground in South Beach, he is an idiot and should be suspended. The police report says he was hiding from the police behind a potted plant, he is 6'5" and 260.
 
Southpaw

Southpaw

Fuckface
Utopia Moderator
I mean, if he just said that because of his religious beliefs he wanted to wait until marriage, then ok. More power to you buddy, I can respect that, but yeah don't be saying god spoke to you and said not to pork her and to lead her and that he was using you to see how you reacted after throwing an interception.
 
whiteyc_77

whiteyc_77

The Skeleton Debator
Mod Alumni
"I am trying to be holy. I obey His holy word. I wish to wait until marriage before consummating. It is what Jesus would have wanted."

Um, Russell...did you read Matthew 19:9?

-YTC
 
Bmack

Bmack

IRREGULAR HUMAN USER
Mod Alumni
Isn't there where some fundies try to say the bible is against masturbatin? Because Onan pulled out of his wife's sister, and spilt his seed on the ground and God cursed him.

They got it wrong . God wants you putting that good nut in your wife's sister cuZ her husband died and princess likes to fuck and every woman deserves a kid.

The only way that would be hotter is if it was required to nut in your own sister.
 
Bmack

Bmack

IRREGULAR HUMAN USER
Mod Alumni
God killed onans bro, Er, for some reason.god then told onan to knock up er's wife (so not I and wife's' sister).

Onan was like, but this inheritance law gonna give a double share to this kid cuZ it will be deemed to be er's kid.

He says fuck that I can get all the money but pretending to nut in her but serupridiosly spilling this good nut on the floor. She won't know. I'll just say birch is pribanly barren, I hit goid nut she just got a womb full of cobwebs

Priblem is, the guy who ordered this imirrgnating was God. Who happens to see everything.

God saw through the clever ruse, which he clearly didn't appreciate, cuZ he smited onan.
 
Southpaw

Southpaw

Fuckface
Utopia Moderator
He was a smart mf'er. He got to say that God told him to plow his brother's wife and he got to keep on plowing because he was spilling his seed on the dirt. His wife was all, why the fuck you keep plowing her? He was like because god told me to. You want to argue with him? You saw what happen to Lot's wife, bitch. STFU
 
Bmack

Bmack

IRREGULAR HUMAN USER
Mod Alumni
I don't know if I would count on me. This is a specific situation I'm very interested in

Buncha people tell me I'm ginna hell for jerkin off you better believe im gonna research the authoritative literature.

I'm gonna to hell prob, but not for jerkin off.
 
GR8 2 B FL G8R

GR8 2 B FL G8R

Well-Known Member
Lol yall got it all twisted

The "God" of the Bible represents many living entities

Humans are a hybrid slave race created from.Earths hominid creatures and aliens

The passage in question refers to a time in which there were far more hominids on the Earth than hybrids

Onan is clearly a hybrid and "God" who is a pure alien wants to continue the breeding program

The women in the story are natives to Earth who have been selected for their high intelligence and compatibility with alien dna

Onan needs to nut in these native women to keep the breeding hybridization program clicking along. Clearly Onan is the type of subservient lackey "God" wants. Er was not so willing to take orders, so he dies.


Source: William Bramley, Joseph Farrell, Lloyd Pye
 
Wuf

Wuf

Desensitized and Willing
Southpaw said:
So Russell Wilson said God spoke to him and told him not to bang his girlfriend. Now I have to root against him forever. I can't abide religious whack jobs.
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Really enjoyed watching him at State, and didn't even hold it against him when he went to Wisconsin, but I've got no love for this guy now. The only difference between him and Tebow is that he can throw. Media personality Russell Wilson blows dick.

How can you date Ciara, not bang her, and have a cameo in the Entourage movie? What the fuck sense does that make?
 
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